10 Ways to Memorialize a Pregnancy Loss

After you go through the gut wrenching loss of a pregnancy, you want to process your feelings. Then, you may also want to remember your baby in some way. It took me a long time to want to do this, and I still haven’t figured out what I want to do yet. I’m leaning towards a tattoo, but also love the idea of purchasing a star.

Anything that you do to remember your baby will be your way of thinking about your baby at moments you may want to forget. For this reason, I suggest putting a lot of thought into what you do and when. For example, I would avoid creating a shadow box and hanging it by your front door if you don’t want a daily reminder. However, if you’re at the point where you do want a daily reminder, put it somewhere you will see.

Build a memory box

If you have any mementos from baby, such as ultrasound pictures or hospital bracelets, you can add them to the memory box. You can also write a letter to your baby, add things from the month they were due, or really anything that reminds you of your baby. Put it in a pretty box, and put it somewhere special. Or tuck the box away, and look at it occasionally. The choices are endless for what to add and where to place your special box.

Include your significant other in this process. They are likely processing their feelings too even if they didn’t physically go through it. Brainstorm ideas together on what to include and what reminds you of your baby.

Purchase a ring or piece of jewelry

There are many places that make mothers rings. Check out your local jewelry store or head over to Etsy for some beautiful options. This is some jewelry you definitely want to do you research on and don’t skimp on the price.

Can you imagine how you’d feel if the gem fell out the of ring or necklace? I’d be devastated. I found this beautiful website: Story Jewelry that has a variety of rings, necklaces, and bracelets to remember a loved one or remember a moment.

I have look at this site a lot (but haven’t ordered anything yet.) I really love this rainbow ring. I’m hesitant to order a ring with gems because if we have another child, my mothers ring would be missing one.

Get a tattoo

I love the idea of getting a tattoo. There are many different options. A butterfly is the symbol for miscarriage. If butterflies aren’t your thing, some other ideas are birds with one flying away, forget me not flowers, baby’s name, or a baby with wings.

You can also work with your tattoo artist to come up with something that you will love. This is another thing I planned on doing, but haven’t done yet. I would love to get forget me not flowers, or the flowers from my due date month.

Name your baby to honor the loss

This one is super simple but also very difficult to do. In my mind, our lost baby’s name was always Jack, because I thought he’d be a boy and that was our favorite boy name.

The part that gets difficult is, someone else might use this name for their baby. I can imagine that being very difficult especially if you see the child often. You and your partner might also disagree on a name or disagree on a gender.

Decide together what the gender and the name is, and publicly announce the name to avoid having someone close use it. This might still not stop them. For me, I just decided Jack in my head, but didn’t really tell anyone else. If someone uses the name, it’s ok with me. Your level of comfort in sharing may vary, and that is ok.

Plant a tree or flower garden in baby’s memory

If you have some place to plant a tree or a flower garden, this is a great idea. My only concern is that the tree or flower garden may die, and that may be upsetting.

When I had a miscarriage, my friend gifted me a small succulent plant. It only needs to be watered once a month and somehow, that ended up being on the day my period starts every month. This seems to just exacerbate my pain every month, so I am considering giving it away.

Consider these tips when thinking of planting a tree or flower garden. You could also add a garden stone to hold more information and in case anything happens to the plants or trees, it’s a little more permanent and moveable.

Buy and name a star

This is my new favorite, especially after visiting the website. You are able to enter your star’s name, the constellation (based on their astrology sign), choose a star dedication date, and write a personal message.

After you name your star, you will receive a star certificate by mail. The whole process costs $55. You can also upgrade your package to include more.

This would be a beautiful reminder of your child. Every time you look up at the night sky, you can think of them: a twinkling star in the darkness. It’s a perfect metaphor.

Press and frame flowers

There are a lot of beautiful ideas online for this one. You could use forget me not flowers, flowers from your due date month, or just flowers that mean something to you.

I love the idea of this, especially because you can display it in your home without a lot of questions from visitors. You can explain their meaning if you want, but could also just say you liked the flowers.

Here is a great article from Better Homes & Gardens that talks all about pressing flowers.

Create a miscarriage journal with momentums

You can chronicle what you all went through or you can start from today and just write your day to day emotions. This would be a great thing for any future or earth bound children to read someday.

I’ve always dreamed of one leaving my journals to my daughter. Life can have its ups and downs so it’s nice to be able to look back and get a feeling for how you actually felt in those moments because it can be hard to remember.

My blog post 5 Books to Purchase after a Miscarriage includes a journal as number two and four. One journal contains prompts and the other is blank.

Start a memorial website or business

I have a friend who has a family member who endured a still birth/late pregnancy miscarriage. I can’t imagine the pain. They built a customization business that includes the initials of the baby lost. It is a beautiful family owned business.

For me, I write about my struggles and experience with miscarriage in this blog. I haven’t dedicated the entire blog to miscarriages, but I have dedicated a section to it to help others going through similar experiences.

Create something beautiful

All the creative mamas out there: just make something beautiful to remind you of the baby that was taken away too soon. It could be a painting, a collage, digital art, or a song. Again with this one, the possibilities are endless.

Do something you are passionate about and take your time. It doesn’t have to be done overnight. Make it a healing process and a project that you’ll cherish for the rest of your life.

Final thoughts

Of course you don’t have to just pick one, whatever you do, make it mean something to you. Take your time. Initially writing this post, I am six months post miscarriage and still haven’t nailed down exactly what I want to do. Maybe I’ll end up doing them all. I never want to forget the baby I lost, and I’m sure you don’t either.

If you’ve found your way to this post, thank you for reading. I am always here if you’d like to talk or you need a shoulder to lean on. Please reach out and follow along for more content. What have you done to remember your little one?